SyIzumakai

I know i got things I gotta work on. Art trade, fanfiction, yadda yadda yadda, My new job schedule is a little rough to get use too and I'm tired all the time- eventually I'll get use to it but for now, eh.

Also need to stop obsessing over some things- not going to go into detail but I realized how much of a fool i've been acting like, so I'm going to stop- hopefully- we will see.

That you just love unconditionally?

That sort of friend who, whenever you seem them, online or in 'real life', you just perk up and find yourself grinning like a dork?

I have one. I think I'm crushing bad on her. Thing is, I don't know if it's a romantic crush or a friendship crush. Maybe it's not even a crush. Maybe I just value her friendship to the point that it's like a crush? I don't know how to describe it. All I know is that the emotions I barf when around her/thinking about her/talking about her/to her make me question if I ever truly understood the term "feelings".

This girl, I swear to whatever deity there is, is amazing. There's this attraction I have to her that's like a super magnet. It's not even a sexual "I want to bang this person-omg so attractive" kind, it's this "I want to hug you and kiss your forehead and make everything better as I shield you from the world and feed you tiny cupcakes" sort of feeling. I feel very protective and clingy to this person. I love the personality.

But this person, she's a riddle wrapped in a mystery when it comes to me trying to figure out things about her. Sometimes it's like I'm always barfing my emotions to her and I never ask her enough about herself. I wish to change that, but I'm staring at this wall and trying to figure out how. It's hard, like chipping away at rock with a toothpick. I'm a leech taking all the compliments and not dishing out enough for her. It's head slamming against the desk frustrating. I doubt my own feelings because "How can I feel this way if I know so little"

I don't deserve that knowledge perhaps.

I think, maybe I'm not suppose to scale it. Maybe It's not for me. Maybe there's another who can conquer this metaphor and I'm not that person. I wish I was. I would love to be that person, but I wouldn't get upset if I wasn't. I would happily watch this person from afar, doing things that makes her happy, being who she wants to be. I don't want to stifle her.

I don't think I would be too sad if she moved on to someone who made her happy. All I want is for her happiness. She deserves it in whatever form it takes. I'll always be here with open arms, smiles and a listening ear. I'm happy with this. I'm happy just to be in her presence and be her friend. Even if I'm not her best friend.

I fear losing her because of this overwhelming surge of emotion that might come off too needy or plain creepy. *The irony of where I place this though.*

Words fail me. It's just...

She's so special to me and I only wish she could see the beautiful person I see in her.

Well, enough with my emotional vomit.

Holy FRACKENOODLE.

Really everyone? Really? I’m seeing so many posts about “The end of Apritello” and junk about how awful the creators are to rip Donnie’s heart out and stuff like that… ENOUGH.

I don’t mean to sound mean or anything. Honestly, I’m not. But I think everyone is taking it a little too seriously. I would like to state many points here on WHY PEOPLE NEED TO CALM DOWN.

Firstly, I’m an Apritello fan, I will die with my ship, but I also like to believe I’m a logical thinker. I want Donnie to be happy with his girl too, but I also believe April deserves happiness as well. I’m not going to argue on why picking Casey over Donnie is a good thing or how Donnie is so much better then Casey because it’s not the point. The choice is April’s, not either boy and not us the fans. If she wants to flirt with this bad boy, let her, it’s HER CHOICE. Which brings me to the next point.

Secondly, seriously, how many people out there have not gone a little giggly when someone gives us a little attention? Frack, I know I have many times lately but geeze that’s another story. The point is that just because a girl made or may not have made goo-goo eyes at another boy doesn’t mean she’s in love. At most it’s a crush. They only just met, how bad of plot making would that actually be if BOOM instant love? (Holes in this I know, shush)

Thirdly, Donnie is seeing all this from his point of view. With his mega crush on April, he’s a bit blinded to the fact that things are not always what they appear. Yes it seems bad (and the Leo calling Casey April’s boyfriend didn’t help) but Donnie doesn’t know the whole story so he’s bound to overreact at the situation.

Fourth point. April is still mad at the turtle boys. From what I can guess in this ep, it hasn’t been even a month yet for her. Her dad is gone, and while not dead, not in her life. I have been blessed with nothing like this happening to me but how many of you got over the death of a love one in a month? What if the death of said loved one “could have been prevented if another loved one had done something”? Humans are know for their tempers and ability to hold grudges. You can’t expect something as serious as losing a father, finally getting him back, losing him again to error, as something easily forgivable.

Lastly, TRUST THE CREATORS. Remember this is a kid’s show, but it’s also WELL KNOWN that the show has adult viewers. They have to appeal to the marketing of the children and kids are going to have crushes and not understand the feelings they are having when said crush doesn’t pay attention to them. Having a strong role model like Donatello who also struggles with it… well that’s a big deal for kids. They need to see conflict in the turtles and April in order to understand the conflict in themselves. The creators know this. I mean seriously, how many AWESOME shows has Nick produced between the 80’s onwards? TRUST THEM GUYS. They won’t let this end without a happy ending. And while it may not be Apritello or even Capril, it not going to be disappointing.

I hope. Good thing there is another season after this.

So yeah, there is a my rant. This took WAY longer then I care to admit. Bottom line, STOP THE SHIP FIGHTING. SHEESH.

Waaaaaazzzz up people!

Sooo yeah, according to the title, this is going to be a moody post or something yes? I dunno. Maybe it will maybe it won't? It will. I'll try not to make it too bad though.

I figured something out though! So my moods get really bad when I get bored. If I get bored too bad- whooooo let's not go there- BUT BUT BUT BUT, If I keep busy, BOOM, no bad thoughts! WHOO! Like I noticed when at work, I'll be grumpy (if it's a certain manager) but I keep relatively busy and no bad thoughts! But like... last night, and right now (doing this to keep me busy) I'm kinda... slinking into the darkness and I keep having little crying fits.

I have Mulan on right now and when I burst into song I'm happy and the aftermath lasts a bit, but then I see other things and I just... I dunno.

Plus I feel super lonely a lot... I wanna message so many people but I feel like I bug them. Flashy, Kiwi, Serenity, Zeeshie, Leo, Arrows, Sey, BLEH. I CLING TO MY FRIENDS AND THEY WILL HATE ME FOR IT! Or at least I feel too easily spurn whenever they don't talk back? Gotta learn to handle busy-ness as NOT rejection...

OKAY OKAY OKAY, enough with the moodiness rambles. I think I'm going to make Mac and Cheese. YEEEEEEEAH.

Tagged by

1.- You must posts these rules.
2.-  Each person has to share 10 things about them
3.- Answer the 10 questions asked to you and invent 10 questions the people you tag will have to answer
4.- Choose 10 people and put their icons on your journal
5.- Go to their page to inform them they are tagged
6.- Not something like " you are tagged if you read that"
7.- You have to legitimately tag 10 people
8.- No tag-backs
9.- You can't say that you don't do tags.
10.-You MUST MAKE A JOURNAL ENTRY



Questions for me to answer:



1. What's your Fave TMNT Couple?  

Apritello!

2. What's your favorite color?

Green.

3. What's your favorite video game?

Hmmm There are so many, I just can't pick.

4. Favorite Song?

Anything for you by Evanescence.

5. Favorite T.V show?

I have many, TMNT, MLP, American Dad... To name a few.

6. Do you like Halloween?

Get your scare on bitchez!

7. Do you like Christmas?

When I was younger yeah, now it's just too complicated. But I do like the idea of giving others gifts.

8. Do you like summer?

Not really. I like Winter much better.

9. Do you wish these questions would end? XD

Naw I'm okay.

10. All done! Bye Bye (Smile)

That's not a question! *pouts*



Tagged People:
























Sorry if you didn't want to do this. :T

ITS FINE



Questions for you:



1. What's your favorite animal?

Turtles! Kidding Kidding, anything in the cat family I suppose

2. What's your favorite show?

Didn't I just answer this? XD

3. What's your favorite book?

There's a Boy In The Girl's Bathroom by Louis Sachar

4. Favorite Season?

Fall.

5. Favorite holiday?

None honestly. If I had to pick one, christmas, but not for the normal reasons.

6. Who's your favorite character from any show?

*goofy grin* Mikey from TMNT but I also like human characters as well like Abby from NCIS

7. Do you like pie?

As much as Dean from Supernatural does.

8. ...Do you like kittens? >(^..^)<

KITTIES

9. Meow?

KIIIIIIIIIIIIITTIES

10. Did you have fun?

I have a cough now! HACKSPUTTERHACK



I tag :



my questions:

how long can you hold your breath?

*grabs timer* 32.36 seconds. *shame* Maybe I was over thinking it.

what color would your eyes be if you were a fictional character?
A beautiful shade of green/blue

do you know the muffin man?

"The muffin man? The muffin man!"

why is the sky blue?

Oh! I read about this in Nick-magazine through Jimmy Neutron! Something about how the sky is a giant prism and it follows the colors of the light spectrum so major time we see blue but as the sun sets or clouds interfere, the shading of the light differs.

whats your favorite donut?

Bavarian cream!

whats the worst thing about little kids

Parents who don't discipline them.

how many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon

Ahhh.... Three and a half?

whats your dream job?

Writer

finish the sentence, in a perfect world ______

My breasts would not be so big- KIDDING. Uhhhh IN a perfect world there would be no hate.

whats your shoe size?

6 1/2-7 depending on brand.

OKAY I tag That's all though unless someone else wants to do it.

1: Who's bright idea was it to look at a cow's udder and say "I bet i can drink what comes out of that"?

2: Five six seven eight, who do you appreciate?!

3: Okay Okay, I'll just ask real questions... What is one of your biggest fears?

4: Why did you decide to follow the person who you tagged/ tagged you?

5: Biggest hobby?

6: Favorite sweet?

7: Your opinions on rainbows?

8:  Let's dance! What's your favorite type?

9: Are you proud of your burps?

10: I'm sick of these!! Last one now! Do you like doing these journal thingies?